Did you pick your flowers yet?

I’m the kind of person that needs meaning for everything in their life. You probably have a friend or two like me… someone who always has to be searching or wrestling for something… someone who is never just happy to be, but must BE seeking something… someone who can’t just have some fun without trying to make some kind of deeper metaphor out of it… someone who would take a simple jog and make it into a silly sermon illustration…

Or maybe you don’t. In which case, that would explain my lack of social calls.

Either way, people like myself, may find it really hard to be motivated individuals. In order for me to stay focused on something, I have to understand it has lasting impact, a forever meaning, an eternal value, and it has to be deep and I have to be able to see it in my mind.

This may also explain why I’m really excited about getting married, and I don’t really give two hoots about the wedding.

So often in life, we try to accomplish things and just can’t seem to find a way to fuel the fire within us to really make us want it. We may even desperately want to want it, but just can’t get a spark to catch.

And today, on my very intentional run (because I am one of the lonely “too deep for their own good” losers depicted above), I started thinking about why it’s so hard for me to be motivated. “Why is it so hard to make myself want to finish this run? Why would I be so happy to just walk the rest? Remember, this is exciting and meaningful.”

Well, what I discovered after a few more painful blocks was this; shallow motivation.

Planning a wedding has shallow distractions on every corner, waiting to attack; to jump out and beat you up and say, “Why aren’t we just eloping?! I never even wanted a stupid wedding.” (My fiance and maid of honor can attest to my very own, frequent malicious encounters)

What color flowers will you get? Will you get different colors? What about the napkins? Will they correspond with the flowers? Oh, and the tablecloths? Is your bridesmaids hair going to be up or down? Will you put those same flowers in their hair? And while we’re talking about this stuff, how’s the guest list coming? Did you remember your great aunt Sally twice removed with the bad perm? And when you invite her you HAVE to invite her sister, you know the one that Grandma showed you in that one picture when you were four? She’d be heartbroken if she couldn’t come.

(Insert upper quotation here.)

Here it is, bottom line, you don’t get married to have a wedding. If you’re more motivated for GETTING married than you are for BEING married to your future spouse, FOR THE REST OF TIME, you have been eaten alive by the shallow motivation boogey man himself.

Those things, those minute details, they may matter for that one day that we get married, but I don’t care about them, because they don’t mean anything in the scheme of things. What color my flowers are mean NOTHING to what my marriage will look like and how it will testify of God’s love for His church. I have a feeling no body is asking Him what color flowers He’ll bring for His bride the day He comes back for her.

Finishing that run had to mean more than just checking it off my list. 

Getting married has to be more than having a beautiful wedding.
Following Jesus has to be more than cashing in your ticket for eternal life.

Planning a wedding, finishing a run, following Jesus, they all require a vast amount of motivation. Following Jesus is hard work. It means waking up every day and finding someone new to love on. It’s learning to say you’re sorry and ask for forgiveness… and mean it. It’s giving up what we want out of life and sometimes even out of ourselves , so we can serve Him with everything we have, not everything we want to have. It’s living life searching for His voice and being obedient to what He tells you, even if it’s the complete opposite of what you’ve been telling yourself (and everyone else). It’s joining in His mission to bring reconciliation and wholeness back into the world, as He intended in Genesis one.

THAT’S real, and true, and deep, and meaningful motivation. Wholeness for the whole world.

THAT’S what I’m running after.

Wedding Count Down: 
142 days- 2 miles